A GOOD YEAR: The Taco Bell fiasco

Now Cathy and I are turning our focus towards diet.  Cathy is tracking on a free app, MyFitnessPal, which is also a website, in case you don't have a smarty pants phone.  Just tracking what you are eating is super effective, even without putting a limit on calories.  Using a calorie limit is easily figured out by said app, or by several online calculators that take in age, height, sex, and current weight.  Once a calorie estimate is established, you may need more or less calories depending on how you feel, and how your actual weight loss is going.

The key is to develop the behavior, habits, and system that is not only effective but works for you.  Cathy shares some belief patterns that she is overcoming as she continues with her journey!

When I was in college I used to go to Taco Bell and order one value meal for me and then pretend to forget what my "friend" wanted before ordering a second value meal (for me) and an extra taco (also for me). I would get home and go to my room and just gorge. When I was done, surrounded by wrappers, the guilt and shame would set in.

I went on my first diet when I was 11. It was the summer between 5th and 6th grade and I didn't want to be "the fat girl" when I started Middle School. I was sick of being teased by this mean girl in school and tired of feeling so anxious and insecure about everything. 

My first diet was really strict - no snacks or second helpings at meals and I had to exercise 60 minutes every day (biking or jogging) no matter how much I didn't want to (even if the idea of exercise made me cry). From my perspective, at the time, it was a success. I lost so much weight that one of my friend's moms suggested to my mom that I was anorexic.

So here I am trying to get healthy and telling you all how well that's going. In doing that I'm really only telling you half of the story. The exercise is going well. I'm enjoying walks and yoga and I'm working through a lot of stress and frustration and powerful emotions at the same time. 

But food is a problem and weight loss begins in the kitchen. 

I started month two by tracking everything I ate.  When I lost weight several years ago I tracked my calories and it worked really well. But that was so long ago that I had forgotten what a difference writing everything down makes. I have the MyFitnessPal app and find it super useful. It seriously has calories for everything and you can even scan things. And that's great because I focus on portion control using a food scale and monitor my snacking. I have even lost five pounds this month just from refocusing on food. 

But here's the problem. The binges haven't stopped. Neither has the obsessive behavior that accompanies losing weight for me. I'm not sneaking out to Taco Bell and binging alone (although I do tend to sneak in the kitchen and steal cookies when nobody is looking which is odd behavior for an adult) but if I end up at an ice cream shop you can bet that I'll end up with a waffle cone in my hand and two scoops of moose tracks piled on. It's like this compulsion where pressure (probably stress) builds up and at a certain point I have to eat until I can't feel feelings.

I also don't want to be forced to track everything I eat for the rest of my life because it fuels my obsessive need to control every bite. It feeds into the "food is a reward/punishment" mindset I carry with me which ends up looking in my head, a lot like the "no more wire hangers" scene in Mommie Dearest. 

Instead, I want to eyeball correct portions.  I want to make good choices when I eat out. I want to just put whole, healthy food in my system. I don't want to let emotions fuel my eating.

So normally I like to end my posts with some big "aha" moment. Unfortunately I can't do that this week. I don't have this figured out. I don't know how to control the urges or obsessive micromanagement of food. But I do take some comfort in my ability to see the problem. I guess the last time I tried to lose weight (which is different from my 'get healthy' mindset today) I didn't see an issue with my control issues around what I ate. I didn't let myself think about the binging because it made me feel ashamed. By recognizing the problem I can at least start to figure it out. 

A GOOD YEAR: Olive the Dog

Prologue:
I wrote this blog post back in mid-June when I just started walking again and began "training" for the walking program.  I considered publishing the story  a while back but I thought it was more appropriate to focus on my progress with the Go Training walking plan.  Well stuff happened this week that made this more relevant so I'm sharing it now.

Just so you have a little background, I got Olive back in 2008 through a rescue organization.  I decided I needed a dog after being mugged in my driveway in the "transitional neighborhood"where I owned a house in Atlanta.  The irony is that Olive was the most anxious, timid, nervous lady dog ever when I got her and she certainly was not a guard dog.  But I couldn't resist her sweet face and her loving, trusting demeanor.  She has calmed down quite a bit, but still is glued to my hip and follows me wherever I go.  Regardless, she has been a constant companion over the last four years, during good times and bad.

Story:
I have a dog.  Her name is Olive.  She is five years old.  She is the best.  Really. The. Best.  Olive and I used to run three miles a day before work, three to four times a week.  On days I went to kickboxing or spin class she would still get at least a mile long walk before dinner.  She adapted well to going on runs with me and really seemed to love it. 

I am currently in training to start working out.  I went on my first serious walk in a long time the other day.  I walked for 17:32 seconds at a pace that can be defined as "Level 7: I can still talk, but I don't really want to. I'm sweating like a pig."  It was exhausting.  Anyhow, because it proved more challenging than I expected I thought I'd give myself two weeks of "warm-up" walks to get me ready to do the awesome walking workout Beth and Go Training gave me to establish a base-line level of fitness.
Well today I decided to push myself to do a full 20 minutes of power walking at a pace that can be described as "Level 6: I can still talk, but am slightly breathless." I was really pleased/surprised/relieved to see a big difference in today's walk compared to the one on Wednesday.  I felt more comfortable in developing my stride, it felt good to move, and I didn't feel like I was overdoing it. 

But about two-thirds of the way through the walk Olive started to fade. At first I thought she just had to pee a lot but then she was panting and really slowed down.  After we hit 20 minutes I slowed down dramatically to allow her to catch her breath.  In that final stretch, walking home, I watched her.  Her movement was slow, she was panting really hard, she looked like she was struggling to keep going.  I felt awful.  Awful.  Here was my closest companion, who had stuck with me through a lot of crap (and some minor neglect when things were really falling apart with the marriage) and I had allowed her to get this out of shape.  She was a sausage and moving was hard for her.  

Wait a minute, I'm a sausage and moving is hard to me too!  After my ex and I separated, both Olive and I needed some basic TLC.  She got a good scrubbing at the dog groomer and lots of affection and chew treats and I got help from my parents and friends with pulling me out of kind of a dark place.  But it was just now, watching her trudge toward home that I realized, how badly I had treated myself, and in the process, hurt her.

Working on our fitness is a responsibility we have to ourselves (and our pets) in order to allow us to be whole people.  It is as fundamental as breathing and eating.  When I let my fitness go things started to go down hill.  That's not to say everything would have been okay if I just worked out. But I might not have found myself in such a dark place at the end.  At the same time, sometimes we get to such a bad place that we aren't able to care for ourselves in all the ways we need to, like getting out and moving.  That should be a sign to us that things aren't right.

Olive and I have a long road to get to the healthy place that we want to be at but we will get there. We will cheer each other on along the way and try to be proud of the strides we are making rather than focusing on the things we used to be able to do. And we will get stronger every time we go.

“A dog reflects the family life. Whoever saw a frisky dog in a gloomy family, or a sad dog in a happy one? Snarling people have snarling dogs, dangerous people have dangerous ones.”
― Arthur Conan Doyle, The Case-Book of Sherlock Holmes

And healthy, whole people have healthy, whole dogs.

Epilogue:
Since I wrote this blog post, Olive and I have continued to go on walks together.  But she would still end up super out of breath and would be panting heavily when we'd get home.  I was concerned that I was pushing her too hard so I decided to only take her with me on our walks for the just first 15 minutes and then drop her off and continue on.  Since she was still exhausted after those 15 minutes I thought maybe it was the heat getting to her. So on super hot, humid days I stopped taking her with me altogether.  But then it cooled down and she still had trouble. 

I was a little concerned so I asked a friend who is a avid athlete and veterinary technician what she thought.  She suggested I make a vet appointment to have it checked out.  She said that at Olive's age it shouldn't be a heart issue but should still be looked at.

Well on Monday I finally called to make her a vet appointment and got her in for Wednesday. Then I made a TERRIBLE mistake that I would imagine my friends with kids know all to well:  I looked up her symptoms on Google.  After skimming a few pages I was terrified that she had heart disease, cancer, a deadly fungus in her lungs, and on, and on, and on.  I called the vet back and got an emergency appointment for Monday afternoon.

I learned two things at that appointment:
1. Olive has put on 12 pounds since we came up to Michigan and is extremely overweight.
2. Olive has laryngeal paralysis (LP)

I've linked to the Wikipedia page for laryngeal paralysis which is a little technical.  I found a curtain analogy on another site that explains it really well.  Think of it is as if you have two curtains side-by-side in front of your larynx.  The curtains open to allow you to take a breath and close so you don't inhale your food.  The problem for Olive is that her curtains don't open and close.  They just hang there.  This can make it harder to breath and since dogs pant to cool down, it can mean that it's easier for her to overheat or get too excited and not catch her breath.

Nobody has a clear picture of what causes LP, but it is exacerbated by obesity (check) and hot, humid weather (check).  Typically you see LP in older dogs so I think her weight really drew out the symptoms at a young age.  Eventually, Olive is likely to need surgery to permanently tie back one of the curtains which will allow her to breath better.  Fortunately, the vet caught it early so I can keep an eye on her and recognize symptoms quickly if it gets worse.  In the mean time, Olive's food has been cut back to appropriate levels, she only gets half a cookie in the morning with breakfast, and she only gets one chew in the evening instead of two.  What's hardest for me is that Olive cannot go with me on walks until she loses weight AND it cools down. 

So the reason I'm telling you all of this is not to educate you on LP.  If you have a big dog, you should be mindful of it, but that's not the point of this post.  The point of this post is to demonstrate some of the things that happen to your body when you don't take care of it.  As I said above, Olive is really a reflection of me.  We both have food issues and we eat too much - we also both like to eat garbage although she literally eats garbage and I am drawn to foods that are unhealthy and lacking nutrients...okay so still garbage.  Neither of us have exercised in the last few years.  The difference is that the toll the weight is taking on Olive's health is showing up much more overtly than it is for me.  I would be setting myself up for health problems if I wasn't doing something to improve my fitness too.  I just haven't seen the results of my bad choices as soon.

Hopefully, if I can help Olive with portion control, keep her out of the garbage and away from the cat food, she will lose weight and be able to start walking with me again in the fall.  But I need to stay away from my trigger foods too (I'm looking at you ice cream) so that I will lose weight and start feeling better in the fall as well. So ultimately, the point of this post is that it's one thing to talk in abstractions about the importance of health and fitness but another thing entirely when you see the outcomes of poor diet and lack of exercise right in front of you.

Get your Pumpah Pumping! Heart Rate and Effort Throw Down Talk

Fun Fact Number Blitz Time!  Sorry about the delay in posting, I just was Capitan Zoney last week, and kept trying to include too much in this post...Yes, this long written word pile has already been heavily edited!

I am going to cover...

• How much exercise you should be aiming for
• Establishing heart rate zones, using heart rate monitor or taking your pulse
• How to use the Borg Perceived Rate of Exertion chart to get in the right zone

Cathy had posed an excellent question to me about heart rate...where should she be at? Let's reflect a bit on what she is doing and then answer that after some wordy paragraphs!

Cathy has a solid month of walking under her belt.  Her workouts include long and short interval walks, endurance walks, and  recovery walks.  During her intervals, she is working in moderate to vigorous intensity ranges (more effort on the shorter intervals).  Interval training is a really great way to improve fitness but not every session is an interval session.  On her easy walks, moving her body is the goal, if her heart rate is in the low to moderate range that is fine (for now!).  On her long walks, I'd like to see her cruise up into a moderate intensity in the middle of the workout for maybe 10-20 minutes, then wind down.   Balancing out effort sessions with relative recovery workouts and effort sessions helps prevent burn out and injuries.  Cathy does not have any underlying issues that would make it important for her to stay in a low or moderate range, but that is were screening yourself comes in.  If you are looking to kick off fitness, check out this post to see if you need to see a doc prior to getting out there, or maybe you need to start with low intensity first and see how your body responds.

Note:  Exercise has been shown to help just about every illness, and is appropriate and helpful for people with all kinds of known disease.  It can help reverse disease, and increase quality of life.  If you do have chronic disease, this is for you too!  You may just need some checking out prior to getting started, check out this post for more info!  YOU CAN IMPROVE YOUR LIFE!

Each exercise follows the F.I.T.T. principle, frequenc, intensity, type and time.  Today's blog really zeros in on intensity.

HOW MUCH SHOULD I SHOOT FOR!

These are American College of Sports Medicine recommendations for general population, which are pretty similar from organization to organization (American Heart Association, Center for Disease Control, Mayo Clinic) as they are all evidenced based.

• 150 minutes of moderate intensity aerobic cardiovascular activity (minimum), 75 minutes of vigorous intensity, or a mix of the two types of intensity will reduce your risk of the Gnarlies, also known as chronic diseases, that will steal the beauty of life.  Heart disease and diabetes, cancer of the colon and breast, all these yucky diseases are within our control to influence!
• 30 minutes of walking 5 days a week will check this box to get started! Or maybe you start with ten minutes and work up from there.
• 150-250 minutes is associated with modest weight loss (diet being the other key component!). At least this amount of activity is recommended to prevent weight gain.
• > 250 minutes of moderate intensity cardiovascular exercise a week has been shown through research to be the amount of exercise required during maintenance after weight loss.
• Your workout does not have to be continuous.  Ten minutes three times a day can accumulate and count as a workout.

We have been focusing on cardiovascular exercise (any rhythmic movement counts, swimming, biking, etc) , and I wanted to point out that other components are important in a well rounded program. Remember, Cathy's program is specific to her and all the things going on in her life. We discussed starting with walking but you could get right into weight lifting, a tai chi class and kick off in another way!  Other things to consider and components that we will be folding into Cathy's life are:

• Weight lifting 2-3 times a week
• Balance or neuromuscular training 2-3 times a week
• Flexibility training 2-3 times a week

One last side bar, the other major exercise component is just not sitting too much!  Being sedentary has been shown by research to be another health threat even if you are doing exercise.  Taking lots of get up and about breaks if life or work has you sitting frequently will lengthen your life!

HOW DO I KNOW WHAT INTENSITY I AM CRUISING AT?

How will you know if you are putting out light, moderate or high intensity?  Low intensity is 50-63% of your max heart rate, moderate intensity is 64-76 percent of your maximum heart rate and high or vigorous intensity is 77-93 percent of your maximum heart rate.  This info is referenced from the American College of Sports Medicine.  A lot of consumer sights will point you to moderate intensity as your target to keep things more concise.

If you are just getting started, low intensity is a great starting point.  You will improve and push on to a new level when your ready.

To know your numbers, start with an estimate of your maximum heart rate.

220 - Your Age = Your Maximum Heart Rate

(NOTE: there are other ways to calculate this if you find you are consistently below or above your zone. Check out this link to alternative evidenced based equations if you find your having a hard time hitting your rate or your way over your heart rate zone. Another nugget to consider, unless you have had a stress test, this is truly an estimate of your maximum heart rate.)

SO I am 36, making my estimated maximum heart rate 184.  This is an approximately how much my cardiovascular system could tolerate.

220 - 36 = 184.  OK, simple math victory!  184 is my Maximum Heart Rate.

Let's start with low intensity.  Just getting started? Maybe this is where you begin, your training your cardiovascular system and this is a great zone to explore first if movement is brand new to you!

Low Intensity Aerobic Exercise =  50-63% of your Maximum Heart Rate

Low intensity = .50 X 184 = 92
                       = .63 X 184 = 115

Moderate intensity is breaking a sweat but you can still carry on a conversation.  Another way to define that is 64-76 percent of your maximum heart rate.

Moderate intensity aerobic exercise =  64-76% of Max Heart Rate.

Moderate intensity  = .64 X 184 = 118
                               = .76 X 184 = 140

For me, that's 118 to 140 beats per minute.  Considering resting heart rates can be anywhere from 60-100 beats per minute, that is a DOABLE shift to scoot into the moderate intensity town!

High intensity or vigorous aerobic exercise = 77-93% of Max Heart Rate

High or vigorous intensity = .77 (77%) X (Max Heart Rate) 184 =  141
                                          = .93 (93%) X ( Max Heart Rate) 184 = 171

I think the highest I have ever gotten with my heart monitor is 171-175.  And I was crankin'!

Cathy and I just happen to be age mates!  SO her numbers are also mine! For Cathy's program, I want her to watch her heart rate monitor for these numbers especially during her intervals.  Her longer intervals, I'd like to see her right at the 130-150 range.  Since she is doing long intervals, maintaing that would be tough for several minutes.  With her shorter intervals, I'd like her to try to get up to the 150 or up range, she only needs to maintain this for a minute or so.

DO you need a heart rate monitor?  Even though they can be convenient, you can simply take your pulse!  Taking your pulse for 30 seconds then multiplying by two or for a straight 60 seconds  gives you a nice accurate form of feedback.  YES, you could do ten seconds and multiply by six but the longer interval you utilize to assess your pulse the more accurate the reading.  Your only risk there is the fitter you are the quicker your heart rate recovers while you are checking it.  Use your second and third fingers at your thumb side of your forearm is an easy way to access your pulse at the radial artery.

Radial Pulse

Carotid Pulse

Brachial Pulse

Your carotid artery on the side of your neck and your brachial artery nestled amongst the elbow pit can work too.  Do not use your thumb as it has it's own pulse and can mess you up.

I want to note something here.  Cathy does a 5 minute warm up to increase her heart rate so she is ready to get into the meat of the workout.  Remember, the acronym SENSE, Start Exercise Nice and Slow EVERY TIME!  Even with a warm up, it may take until the second or third interval to get the heart rate response she wants.  Every person is different!  This is a great way to get to know your body and monitor your responses.

HOW DO I CHECK MY INTENSITY WITH PERCEIVED RATE OF EXERTION?

Another way to pretty darn accurately assess intensity with some carry over to heart rate is the good ole' Borg Scale.  The scale I am using with Cathy is the modified version, she has a heart rate monitor and the modified scale is great too BUT it doesn't have this nice little correlation shown below.

Check it out below.

SO if you are working between a 9 and 11, it has been shown to be close to 90 to 110 beats per minute.   Adding a zero to how you feel is pretty close to your heart rate.   Is this system perfect, no.  We are all individuals!  But studies show a pretty good correlation.  This is a great way to increase your body awareness and create connection to how it feels to work at certain levels by how you feel.

I went for a 6 mile run yesterday sans heart rate monitor.  And I pushed along at what felt like a hard intensity, and mid run stopped and checked my heart rate, it was 148.  It took me a second to get my timer going so it might have been a little higher, and since I stopped to check my heart rate recovery might have already happened.  The Borgy worked out for me, anybody else use this system!?  Try it and give me a little feedback.

I like the descriptors in the chart, a "6", which is essentially resting heart rate, usually around 60 beats per minute for many folks, is just sitting in a chair, makes sense.  From our earlier calculations, moderate intensity for me and Cathy would be between a "9-10", fairly light (118 HR) and  a somewhat hard 13-14 (140 HR).  Our vigorous or high intensity range is 141-171 correlating to feeling hard to very hard (150-170 HR) .

Medication!  Some medications, beta blockers, digoxin, etc, inhibit heart rate response so check your meds and see if you are on any of these guys.  This chart is a good guide for those were heart rate will not be a reliable indicator of effort.

AS ALWAYS, if you are starting a program, check out this post.  Yes, I am a nervous nelly on the upfront for new exercisers.  BUT once cleared for take off, I like to deliver the business.  That post has information regarding getting started and you may need to check in with the doctor prior to getting awesome!

I am always cruising the Internets for inspiration and ideas, and ACE, the American College of Exercise website, is about to launch a 28 day challenge in August and they have a great getting started week by week program that is a walk and gentle body weight strength training.  Really user friendly!  No equipment required.

Try out the ACE challenge

And check out a great and progressive, no equipment required 12 week program,
http://www.acefitness.org/acefit/healthy-living/

Referenced Material

• CDC website: http://www.cdc.gov/physicalactivity/everyone/measuring/exertion.html, regarding Borg scale.

• ACSM Guidelines for Exercise Testing and Prescription, Eighth Edition, Walters Kluwer, Lippincott, Williams, and Wilkins. Page 5.

A GOOD YEAR: Month One...CHECK!

I just sent Month 2 off to Cathy and am so impressed with her accountability with Month One.  This week I will address some of the questions Cathy has posed to me about heart rate, shin splits, and should she be lifting weights? Hmmmmm. All this and more, keep checking in!

I am so proud of this post!  I'm pleased to announce that I completed all of the workouts on my Month 1 walking plan.  In my continuing effort to be completely honest about how this is all going, I have to say that I was pretty worried about whether I was able to make this commitment to you but more importantly, to me.  But what's interesting is that this month has been more eye opening than I ever expected.  A friend who saw my initial post, and recently lost over 75 pounds himself, warned me that there is a lot of self discovery that comes with a fitness overhaul.  I thought I understood what he meant at the time.  I know now that I didn't have a clue.

So how did this month go?  What went well?  What went not so well?  Here are my lessons learned so far:

1. I like exercise:  I have a hard time not charging full steam ahead but have found that by easing into this routine I have prevented injuries and am really enjoying and appreciating exercise when I get to do it.  Note that I said "get to do it" and not "have to do it."  That is really how I feel about it.  Really!  Even on the stifling hot days up here in Michigan, it never crossed my mind not to go out on my walk.  I wasn't always able to bring Olive because of the heat but I still looked forward to being present in my life and enjoying the experience.
2. I am tense; yoga is relaxing:  So many people have found an inner calm through yoga.  I just never experienced that feeling and it led me to question what was wrong with me.  Well I figured it out, my negative thoughts and my focus on my lack of flexibility held me back from the mental component of yoga.  Without that focus on calming your mind, just doing the poses right is really not going to help much.  Anyhow, I liked it so much that I went back to the class this past Sunday.  What's interesting is that the regular instructor was back (apparently we had a sub the week before) and it was such a different class.  The poses he walked us through were much simpler and the tone of the class was much more oriented toward clearing your mind.  I liked both sessions for different reasons.  The first session had me so focused on the poses that I couldn't let my mind wander to stressful stuff.  Additionally, when I walked out of the first class my muscles were tired from the harder poses but also relaxed from the stretching.  At the same time, the second session left me feeling more accomplished because I could keep up better and enjoyed the meditative component.  I think the combination of the two classes gave me a more thorough understanding of the facets of yoga.  I'm sure there is more to learn and I've decided to get a 10 session package so plan on hearing more about yoga.  (Yes, I'm hooked!)
3. I feel feelings when I listen to music and exercise: Music can make or break a workout for me.  I can't tell you how much time I've spent building just the right walking mix for both my warm-up/cool-down and the faster portion of the walk.  The wrong song will totally slow me down, while a really good beat will increase my speed without me even realizing it.  In some ways I feel like I built up this hard inner crust that exercise is shaking loose and the right song, a powerful chorus, or even the perfect note during my walk can elicit such strong emotions (good and bad).  I was listening to Read My Mind by The Killers the other day and I felt like my heart might burst out of my chest if I didn't start belting it out while walking down the street.  Fortunately for the neighborhood I didn't start singing but it was odd because there isn't anything special about that song.  It has no sentimental value to me.  I guess there is something about the combination of a good song with a good beat while I'm exercising can super pump me up.  
4. I need help: I can't do this alone.  I mean I do go on all my walks on my own, well I bring Olive but you know what I mean.  And my commitment to this process has to come from within - not because someone else is pushing me.  But sometimes I have questions (ex. what is my target heart rate?) or run into an issue (ex. I have shin splints and they are making moving my left leg really hard) and need someone to help me.  I'm lucky because when I have questions, Beth and Go Training have answers. So if you can get a Beth to help you, I recommend that.  But you can also search "the Google" or ask friends who are more active for suggestions.  I guess the big lesson here for me has been not to just let things go.  There are answers to your questions and you shouldn't feel like your questions are dumb.  I can almost guarantee someone else has wondered the same thing and it can make a huge difference in how your workout feels if you get help when you need it (Go Training's shin splint advice is crazy helpful and eliminated the issue).
5. Things aren't and won't be perfect:  I had a rough week last week. There will be rough weeks. I still get frustrated when I can't do something right away.  I am working to accept that learning is part of the experience.  I have a really hard time staying focused on improving my health and fitness and not just wanting to be thin.  I still struggle with unhealthy thinking about food and exercise and my body.  When I go walking I don't come home suddenly looking like Jennifer Aniston.  Sometimes all I want more than anything on this earth is chocolate. All of that is normal.  It is totally okay that I still have those thoughts.  I try to focus on the positive steps I'm taking to make changes and stop thinking about all the things that aren't perfect.  It would be a lie to say I am able to refocus and suddenly feel like all is right with the world.  I don't.  It's not.  But it's sure a whole lot better than it was when I went on that first walk 5 weeks ago.

So what's next?  More exercise and a focus on my eating.  This first month I just worked on making fitness a normal part of my routine.  I did make some small changes to my eating that I'll tell you more about in detail in a future post.  But if you hung out with me at all lately you know that I have a severe dependence on ice cream.  I am a Moose Tracks addict.  I think the first step is acknowledging I have a problem so that's a good start but now I need to start making changes.  

I'm also going to bump up my workouts to four days a week.  You can see the plan Beth outlined for me below.  I'm actually really looking forward to increasing the number of walks each week!  I know, I think that's weird too.  But I'm excited.

Lastly, I'm going to visit my brother and Beth out in Portland at the end of the month (I'M SO EXCITED!!!) so expect lots of good exercise and eating pictures late August/early September.  It is totally possible I'll get to Portland and decide I'm not coming back so be prepared in case that happens.

If you missed any of my blog posts this month you can either click on Go Training at the top of this page to see all Beth's great posts and just look for the ones with the header "A GOOD YEAR."  You can also find them listed below:

• A GOOD YEAR - Getting Started
• A GOOD YEAR - Let's Get Moving
• A GOOD YEAR - Fitness Challenge: Yoga

3 Month Walking Program
Month 2
Week	M	T	W	TH	F	Sat	Sun	Total Weekly minutes
5		30 BRISK INTERVALS -  3 min on, 2 minutes off X 4	20 EASY	30 INTERVALS 5 min warm up,  2 minutes on, 1 minute recovery		40 EASY		120
6		35 BRISK INTERVALS - 4 minutes on, 1 minute off X 4	20 EASY	30 INTERVALS 2 minutes on, 30 second recovery X 4		45 EASY		130
7		40 BRISK INTERVALS - 4 minutes on, 2 minutes off X 5	20 EASY	30  Hill repeats 5 minute warm up, find a small to medium hill, 4 X up and down, 5 minute cool down.		50 EASY		140
8		45 BRISK INTERVALS - 3 minutes on, 2 off X 7	20 EASY	30 Hill repeats 5 minute warm up, find a small to medium hill, 4 X up and down (each bout about 2.5 minutes?), 5 minute cool down.		60 EASY		155

Cathy's workout shoes - that are actually being used for working out!

A GOOD YEAR - Fitness Challenge: Yoga

I am totally impressed with Cathy's courage to try something new during an especially tough week.  Yoga has many, many faces!  The yoga that we do in studios in the physical limb of an ancient Indian practice that has spiritual and mental aspects as well. 

It is truly worth calling a studio and letting them know what you have going on, if your a beginner, any new or old injuries, prior to attending class.  The super flexible need to be careful of overextending joints, and the not so flexible, like myself, need to work within their own limits.  And what you can do on one side of your body may be vastly different than the other side.    Definitely start with a beginners class, and ask for modifications if they are not being offered up, as there is usually a similar pose to get a similar result.

 A yoga class is typically structured as such: 

• Usually starting seated on your yoga mat, the instructor may set an intention like letting go of fear or negativity or setting aside your to-do list.
• The teacher usually next asks you to focus on you breath.  Then encourages you to keep this ease of breathing and leads the class with some warm up poses.  If your breathing is compromised, you are most likely beyond your limits!
• The rest of the class progresses through poses that might be seated, standing, sidelying, prone, or any combination of!  The poses have Sanskrit names, and an English translation.  For instance, Downward Dog is translated from Adho Mukha Svanasana.
• The last pose of a session is called Savasana, or Corpse Pose, where you get to just lay on your back and relax.  I have fallen asleep during this wonderful let-it-all-go part of class.

Try a few different entry level classes and see what instructor fits you best.  Each instructor shines in different ways, just as each class is unique.  Also if you feel your ready to try something more challenging, ask the studio.  They know there instructors and classes best.  Also most studios have mats available, so you may not need invest in one prior to trying it out.

Lastly, be careful with yourself and stop if you are overextended.  Whenever I need a break in class, I take Child's Pose or Balasana.  

From Cathy:

To be completely honest, this hasn't been the best week.  The workout stuff is going really well.  I am feeling good, I have more endurance, and I am looking forward to my walks (even in the heat).  But I'm participating in this divorce recovery program this week in the evenings and I think it's consuming a lot of my time and eating up a lot of my mental energy.  I'm also working through some legal stuff and that's always hard too.  Anyhow, I've tried writing this post about going to a yoga class at least three times and feel like it sounds depressing which isn't at all how I feel about the class or the workout program.  If anything the workouts have been a saving grace.  They help clear my head and let me refocus my attention in the present and not revisiting the past or stressing about the future.

I guess that's why the tone of this post is so important to me.  I am getting a lot better physically and I think it's helping me to feel a lot clearer mentally.  My mood is better, my tension is reduced, and my energy is increasing.  So while things aren't perfect this week and I'm stressed and I'm tired, it's important that I properly convey how much worse it could be if I wasn't getting out and moving.

With that, I went to yoga on Sunday...

This month's challenge was to take a beginner yoga class.  It was my idea.  Overall, I have been feeling really good this month as I get more comfortable with the walks.  My body has started to crave more movement (which is really cool) so I thought I could add a little something else to my workout program. I also figured that practicing yoga will be incredibly beneficial to me while I'm healing from some emotional stuff.  As I understand it, yoga can help significantly reduce tension, relax muscles, and improve strength - all things that I could super use help with.

Having said that, it's kind of surprising (even to me) that I suggested yoga. I have tried yoga on a number of occasions but never really got to a point where a yoga class left me feeling like I got enough of a workout (see unhealthy thinking in my previous post).  At the same time, I didn't feel more relaxed after class either.  A lot of times I would end up getting frustrated while struggling with a pose or get mad at my body for lacking basic flexibility. But, in the spirit of starting over, I am erasing my memories of yoga not being super great and trying again.

I found Northville Yoga Center using "the Google."  Mostly I chose this studio because I liked their philosophy (which you can get a sense of from their homepage) but they are also reasonably priced and offer a good number and variety of classes. For all the classes I've taken in my life, I don't know much about the different types of yoga.  I've tried Bikram (hot yoga) but that's pretty intense and the heat would be too much for me right now.  When I dug into what each of the classes are I decided to try the Hatha class.  I'm sure Beth can tell you more about Hatha but I chose it because what I read made it seem like it used the building blocks of yoga poses and would be a good starting point. 

So like I said, making yoga my challenge this month was my idea.  But that doesn't mean I wasn't intimidated by the prospect of being the only beginner in the class.  To make me more comfortable and be accountable to someone so I didn't back out, I dragged a good friend with me to test out the class.  We went to a 9:20 am session on a Sunday.  The instructor greeted us as we entered the studio and was super nice.  Honestly, it made me wonder why I ever feel intimidated by these classes.  I've never met a mean yoga instructor.  They are always super nice and super helpful and just glad that I'm there (they also seem super at peace - almost zen-like in their calmness and energy).  Anyhow, we told her we were beginners so she could anticipate that we might need extra instruction/help with the poses.  If you are a first timer at a class I always think it's helpful to let the instructor know.  We obviously didn't really know what we'd need for the class and she helped us pick up the tools the class would be using:  mat, blanket, bolster, and block.

The yoga space itself was really cool.  The room wasn't huge and was set up so the instructor was in the center so it was easy to see her.  She also dimmed the lights, lit some candles, and played soothing music. I felt relaxed in the space and we hadn't even started!

The class started of slow and I really, really liked that. For our first pose, the instructor had us align the bolster with our spine and lay back on it.  She then had us stretch our arms out so that we formed a "T" (here is a picture of what we were doing).  That seems like a pretty basic movement right?  Well it wasn't, not for me.  I felt like there was a rope tied to each of my wrists and when I reached out my arms the rope was being stretched and I could feel a strong pull across my chest.  It was so eye opening for me.

When I first came up to Michigan in January after the separation I was kind of a mess.  Mentally, I was distraught.  Physically, I was so anxious that I was visibly tense and stiff in my movement.  I've worked hard across the last six months to get to a better place and while I had reduced my anxiety and tension significantly, I am clearly still carrying around much of the physical burden.  Honestly, for me it was a revelation that this tension was still such a big problem.  Since this yoga class, my awareness of the clenching and tension has increased significantly.  I still need to learn better techniques for reducing it in the moment, but identifying it feels like a big step.

So as the class progressed the poses became more challenging - moving from the floor to our knees and then up to a standing position.  The kneeling poses really hurt my knees but I learned that you can put a blanket under your mat (perpendicular to mat) and that will add some cushioning without disrupting your poses. By the time we got to the standing poses, I was working up a sweat.  If I'm being totally honest, this part was hard and not super fun.  I felt uncoordinated and didn't totally know what I was doing.  But fortunately I recognized my unhealthy thinking and responded by reminding myself that I am new to this and much of the experience is in enjoying the journey, so I tried to relax and kept going.  That doesn't mean it was fine after that, it was still hard, but I pressed on. I also started to focus on time at this point and was kind of ready to be done.  Fortunately, there was no clock in the room so I couldn't divert my attention to watching the the minutes tick by.  And after the most difficult movements we did go back to some super relaxing closing poses that felt really good.  

At the end of class we packed up our stuff and walked out of the studio.  A woman from the class approached us and told us that it was a really hard class for a first session and we should feel great for getting through it.  First of all, that was really nice of her to go out of her way to make us feel included.  Secondly, compared to other classes I've taken, this one seemed like a super good beginner class because the poses weren't complex contortions that left me feeling like I was trying to bend myself into a pretzel so I was surprised to hear that an experienced yoga practitioner found it challenging as well. 

I have to say, walking out of that class I realized that I felt lighter than I can remember.  My muscles were tired and I felt so refreshed and relaxed.  I'm not making that up!  I really did!  I couldn't believe how grateful I was for that feeling. The tension that I went into the class with had been lifted and I felt happy and calm.  I don't know if that feeling is the result of an overall improvement in my thought patterns and well-being or if it was just a really good class to start out with.  Either way, I immediately began to plan my next visit.  I have rearranged my schedule this weekend to go again - which is shocking to me that I liked it that much.

I can't say I'm "hooked" yet, although I could totally see that happening, but I do think even adding one session a week to let go of the stress (even if it does still come back a few hours later) would be so healthy for my body and my soul.   I hope I can start implementing some of the concepts from the class into my daily life (ex. focus on your breath) to help me reduce tension on an ongoing basis as part of the healing process.
 
I really didn't think going to yoga would be any different this time than it has been when I've gone before.  I haven't isolated exactly what made this class so special.  Maybe my attitude is better this time around?  Maybe letting go of some unhealthy thoughts allowed me to stay focused?  Maybe I'm just more determined?  Regardless, that yoga class made a significant difference in my overall mental an physical health and I am excited to go back.

Cathy in her best zen pose

Book Review: Self Esteem

"Self-esteem is essential for psychological survival." 

- Fanning, P.  McKay, M. (2000). Self Esteem (3rd ed.). New HarbingerPublications, Inc. Oakland, CA.

OH boy, do I love this little paperback wonder.  Can you tell?  It has served me well! And helped me take stuff (mistakes, worries, criticism) a lot less personal and allowed me to support myself in my goals.  This book covers everything from looking at how you formed your values to how to instill self-esteem into your kiddos.

I wanted to include it on the GO Training blog because it may be helpful to you if you are having a hard time starting new habits (clean diet, exercise) and may be helpful in providing yourself with positive inner dialogue.  Or seeing what thought patters are settings roadblocks between you and what you want to happen in life.

"Self Esteem" caught my eye a long time ago, as I had an extreme desire to lose weight but continued to practice overeating.  I am a seasoned life long athlete, outdoorsy pants, and now a physical therapist, and a personal trainer.  Getting enough exercise was usually not the problem.  I am STILL working on taming my inner critic and bolstering my self esteem.  All the scientific knowledge on earth will not build that house, it requires learning about you.

As a graduate of the Medical Weight Loss Center, and a Weight Watchers 5-peater, I have been dealing with overeating and being overweight my whole life!  I am currently maintaining a 30 pound weight loss with 20 pounds to go.  Taking in a nephew, moving to Portland and settling in, and starting a business (for tackling fitness and weight loss) last year threw enough loops that my self awareness and accountability waned and my weight loss stalled!  Kinda ironic, I know.

In recognizing my off path state, I reached for my old friend, Self Esteem. The problem was and sometimes is my perception of self and others really needed to be examined to achieve lasting weight loss.  However, weight loss doesn't have to be your goal or challenge.  Overeating is a coping mechanism I used and sometimes still use when I am not dealing with other stuff so well.  

This book is a good solid challenge and can be so revealing to why you think and do things that just are not pushing you towards your goal.  And my goal is to nail that last 20 pounds.

This key is really about caring for yourself and learning about why you may not be doing a good job looking after your needs.  It guides you through many different aspects of self reflection.  To really utilize everything this book has to offer, perform the mini-assignments in each chapter!  There is also a companion workbook, if you need a little more structure.

The beginning chapters challenge you to listen to your inner voice, and then the self assessment blossoms from there.  It took me a long time to even want to dig and try some of these inner awareness exercises.  It's uncomfortable.  But harnessing the control on what thoughts I allow to travel down the neural pathways in my brain has been a ticket to Transformation Nation!  It teaches  a really kind way to see how your thoughts serve your strengths and weaknesses.

As with any venture or coaching in life, not every tidbit worked for me, but many techniques did.

Some of my favorite chapters! This is number 4 where you work on an accurate non-perjorative self description. Oh!  And number 8 is all about dealing with mistakes!  So many useful, concrete ways to reframe and address chronic and one time mistakes.  I even busted this one out when my nephew totalled my car. I think reading it for himself and hearing my words of "It's ok to make a mistake." helped him start to let go of his guilt about the situation.  I love goals and planning, and this is covered in Chapter 11.  And if you have kids, Chapter 16 is all about helping your child's self esteem.  Even though I do not have kids or plan on having totters (reserving right to reverse decision), it helps me in my interactions with young ones.  I tend to be an overpraiser, with kids and adults!  But that's not really the best support for kids either.  Turns out overpraising is uncomfy! Who knew!  And I want to be a good influence on my friends, grown and growing, and an accurate mirror for my clients.

Grab this guy from the library or buy it for your very own if your interested in a little look inside.

Cheers to being your own biggest fan GO Trainers!  Capture your Best Self!

Look how much fun self esteeming is!

Here's a link to it on Amazon, in no way supporting Amazon over any other book seller but let's you get an idea on price and there is background info on the authors!

A GOOD YEAR - Let's get moving

This is Cathy's initial plan post!  My preamble contains a few thoughts on physically getting started from a trainer's perspective

Regardless of research, known guidelines, and fancy book learning, as a brand new athlete, you have to start from the beginning.  And the beginning for each individual is different depending on lifestyle, time and family commitments, past medical history, etc., all the various components of life.  A good starting point is to gradually work towards getting in 30 minutes of activity (walking, swimming, biking) 5-7 days a week.  This life style change alone decreases the risk of all the gnarly diseases (cancer, heart disease, stroke...etc.) out there and promotes a healthier body.  

When Cathy asked me about a program, I asked questions....what has worked for you in the past?  How many days do you want to work out a week? How much time do you want to commit? What is your initial goal? Do you have any current aches and pains?

Cathy voiced that starting with three days a week sounded doable, and that walking was a good option. I wanted to take into account that she had not been in the practice of working out, and I wanted to gradually introduce stress to muscles, ligaments, and joints to avoid injury and build success.   When Cathy is ready, resistance training and balance will become part of Cathy's program too.  Cathy is working on diet a bit too, but really focusing on this new habit of walking right now.

This program is the starting point we chose because it is what Cathy felt she could roll into her life for right now.  This program requires no equipment, no prep, and no financial investment.  It also won't overwhelm Cathy's body so she is so sore she gets discouraged.  Most importantly, this plan will significantly decrease Cathy's risk of disease and seriously promote good things for her heart!

I love Cathy's insights below.  I too have had to start a weight loss and health journey and have wanted to just immediately jettison right back to my peak fitness. 

Cathy has made the first big step.  The "I am going to change" moment has come and it takes a lot of patience, faith, and self talk to stay in each successive moment.  Cathy deserves to revel in the small and big successes on the way.  She shares some amazing insight on finding how to support herself with positive internal dialogue below.

When you are getting started with a trainer, make sure you agree upon and start with a reasonable, doable plan.  Here is the questionnaire I use with my clients, and I feel this is a pretty good history and goal outline.  The trainer and athlete relationship really benefits from communicating needs and concerns frequently. Sometimes things need to shift into a higher or lower gear depending on how your body is responding.   I sometimes have individuals see their doctor if there are any medical or orthopedic issues that need addressing prior to getting started with me.  I check flexibility and strength, and balance prior to at my clients first session. 

The effort scale I introduced to Cathy is the Modified Borg Rate of Perceived Exertions scale.   It is a dramatic interpretation of the effort based scale you can see in the link above.  The goal is for the individual exercising to base effort on how they feel.  This scale has good correlation to heart rate and VO2 max.  More on this in future blogs.

Not sure if you are good to start exercising?  Check out this Par-Q.  IF you say yes to any of these questions, you need to talk to a physician prior to getting started. 

A couple resources for getting more "getting started"info:
The American Heart Association  (AHA) and American College of Sports Medicine (ACSM) recommend adults get minimally 150 minutes of activity, and perform resistance exercise every week.  The ACSM goes on to say flexibility and balance work are key weekly parts of exercise.  If you are feeling unsure where to start, gradually increasing time and effort on one aspect of fitness is a good first step.  Then, once this habit is established pull in other recommendations.  The AHA and ASCM websites both have step by step guides for getting started!  OR feel free to contact GO Training for online or in-home training.  With or without guidance, you can change your body!

From Cathy:

It’s pretty hard to know where to start with a workout program when physical fitness has been the furthest thing from your mind for a while.  Where do you begin when you get winded walking up the stairs?  What do you do when you don't feel like your body is moving well?  How do you start when you feel so weak?

At my weight, getting professional advice on where to start was important to me.  I went from a pretty intense workout regimen three years ago to doing absolutely nothing.  That means that working my body at a high level of intensity is all I really know. After talking to Beth at GO Training and discussing my goals, we outlined a fitness plan tailored to my needs. It’s a walking program that will get me comfortable working out, buildup my endurance, and help make exercise a normal part of my routine.  In addition to walking,  I have also committed to go to one beginner yoga class this month - so if you have a recommendation of a good yoga studio in the Detroit area please add it to the comments section below or email Beth at beth@gotrainingwithbeth.com.

 

The day-by-day action plan is outlined in the calendar and levels of exertion below:

• Level 1: I'm watching TV 
• Level 2: I'm comfortable and can maintain this pace all day long
• Level 3: I'm still comfortable, but am breathing a bit harder
• Level 4: I'm sweating a little, but feel good and can carry on a conversation effortlessly
• Level 5: I'm just above comfortable, am sweating more and can still talk easily
• Level 6: I can still talk, but am slightly breathless
• Level 7: I can still talk, but I don't really want to. I'm sweating like a pig
• Level 8: I can grunt in response to your questions and can only keep this pace for a short time period
• Level 9: I am probably going to die
• Level 10: I am dead

Easy Pace means: walking at a 3-4, just move your body and enjoy.  You can easily converse!

On Interval Days: intervals at a 4-6, recovery 3.  It's OK if you are slightly breathless during an interval.

Long Walk: 3-5, make sure your conversational and able to talk the whole time.

3 Month Walking Program
Month 1
M	T	W	TH	F	Sat	Sun
	20 - easy pace		20 - warm up for 5 min, alternate 1 min easy, 1 minute effort pace for 10 min, cool down for 5 min		30 - Long walk - 5 min warm up, keep a nice clip in the middle, 5 min cool down
	25 - easy pace		25 – warm up for 5 min, alternate  2 minutes effort pace, 1 min easy pace for 5 rounds, 5 min cool down		30 Long walk -  5 min warm up, keep a nice clip in the middle, 5 min cool down
	30 - easy pace		30 – warm up for 5 min, alternate 1 minute effort pace, 1 min easy pace for 20 min, 5 min cool down		35 long walk-
	30 - easy		30 - 5 min warm up, 2 minutes effort pace, 30 easy pace for 4 rounds, 5 min cool down		40 long walk

So this is great.  I have a plan.  Fantastic!  Well it was fantastic until I got nervous about the commitment.  Well, not so much the commitment.  If I’m being totally honest, I was afraid I would fail.  I was worried I would get started and it would be too hard and the depression would come crumbling back down around me and I would give up.  This workout program is the first big thing I’ve tried to do for myself since the abrupt separation six months ago.   My focus since January has been on putting one foot in front of the other every day. I finally feel mentally in a place where I can do more than just subsist and to fail at something I want this much would be soul crushing.  So I let some unhealthy thinking take the reigns and decided to take matters into my own hands. 

Let me give you some background on that unhealthy thinking.  My memories of the way things used to be are seen through the rosiest of colored glasses. 

I like to think back to 2010 and remember all the things my body used to be able to do.  There was a lot of pride and good endorphins that came with being physically active and I was able to do a lot more.  My greatest fitness accomplishment was being in such good shape that I was able to climb the Great Wall in China.  I was and remain so proud of being able to make that climb.

But in spite of the positive aspects, there was an obsessive side of me driving things behind the scenes.  I like to forget the guilt that set in if I didn’t work out “enough.”  I choose to ignore the overwhelming self loathing that came with missing a workout or not pushing hard enough.  I pretend that I didn’t have a voice in my head that criticized me constantly for not doing or being enough. 

Well here we are three years later and it is apparent that old habits die hard.  Before kicking off the Go Training plan, I thought it would be good to go on a 20 minute walk to see how it felt and test the waters on this whole thing.  Well, it was hard.  It was really hard.  I was winded, but at the same time felt like I wasn’t walking fast enough. And I wasn't able to go at full speed the full 20 minutes.

Now if you read that last paragraph you’ll see that the reason my first 20 minute walk was hard wasn’t because I can’t walk at a casual pace for 20 minutes as instructed in Beth’splan.  The reason it was hard is because I let the memories of what I used to be able to do (run, spin, kick box) drive the workout I am doing now.  So I charged out the door, headed down the driveway and walked as fast as I could for 20 minutes.  I didn’t warm up, I didn’t cool down, and I didn’t stretch.

Based on that experience, I decided I would never be able successfully accomplish my new, carefully crafted fitness program if I didn’t start training for the training program (which as I re-read that sentence sounds insane).  Instead, I decided to go walking for 20 minutes, every other day, as fast as I could, for two weeks prior to starting the Go Training plan. Again, I didn’t warm up, I didn’t cool down, and I didn’t stretch. 

Surprisingly, it wasn’t hard to motivate to go walking.  I enjoyed getting a break from work and getting out in the fresh air.  But the walks were hard and frustrating.  And really, instead of feeling good about what I accomplished, I felt crummy for not doing more. So as the second week of this “pre-training, training” rolled around, I began experiencing pain in my feet, pain in my left shin, and pain in my lower back.  My last walk before I started the Go Training program was bad. The shin splint in my left leg hurt so much that it hindered my movement and made it hard to keep pace.  At the same time my lower back hurt a lot, forcing me to slow way down for the second half of the walk. 

Pain led to frustration and frustration led to self doubt. Self doubt sent my mind tumbling in a downward spiral.  Some actual thoughts I had in the final five minutes of that walk (I wrote them down when I got home so I could share them) included:

• “I’m too fat to start an exercise program.” 
• “Why even bother, this isn’t going to work.” 
• “Why did I think I could do this?”

Fortunately, I wasn’t ready to give up yet and the time came to start the Go Training walking program. After the two weeks I had just put myself through, it looked too easy.  I mean only three days a week?  Walking at a casual pace for the first and last five minutes of each workout? Well, it turns out that the program is more challenging than I expected.  I was surprised to find that I got the workout that I wanted but my body felt better because I gave myself more time to recover between walks.  Also, alternating between a casual and more vigorous pace pushed me but wasn’t painful.  My shin splint isn’t bothering me and my back doesn’t hurt.

I’ve read so many articles that tell you to take it slow when you first start a workout program. Honestly, I didn’t think that applied to me. I thought that was just supposed to keep you from burning out by setting expectations too high.  I never thought about injuries or pain.  I mean I’m not that old!  And did I mention that I used to be in good shape?  It turns out that by focusing on what I used to be able to do and by falling back into my pattern of all or nothing, no pain, no gain, workout until it hurts, I was setting myself up for failure. 

I’m starting from scratch on getting back into shape and if I push myself too hard I’m going to hurt myself.  Thankfully, I have Beth to sanity check me and keep me thinking realistically about what is doable and what is too much.  She also is very kind and understanding about the unhealthy thoughts that creep in and cause you to ignore the trained professional who is helping you. 

Based on these last couple of weeks, the biggest lesson I’ve learned, besides trusting your trainer, is to start slow.  If you’re anything like me it will probably feel like you will never reach your goals if you aren’t pushing yourself as hard as you can.  But seriously, take it slow.  

I will get stronger, I will build endurance, and I will be able to do more. 

If anything, this experience has taught me a lot about letting go of the past.  I’m trying to look at my life more honestly and think through what really worked and what really didn’t.  I’m recognizing that my rose colored view of things doesn’t allow me to move forward in the ways I need to if I want to do things better in the future. That’s true in my relationships with others and my relationship with myself. A big piece of that is learning how to be mentally healthy while working to be physically healthy.  And as part of the process I’m letting go of how things used to be to make room for where I am at right now.  

Cathy climbing the Great Wall in China (2009) - Her greatest fitness accomplishment...so far:).